The feeling of shyness, embarrassment, embarrassment can take everyone by surprise. It doesn’t depend on at all what kind of person you’re an introvert or extrovert. Perhaps this happens more often with people in a more quiet, modest warehouse, but anything happens in life. And to get into a situation that will put you in an awkward position and make you feel a sense of shyness, maybe an extrovert. Shyness is very closely associated with such feelings as awkwardness, excessive modesty, shyness, stiffness. Stop being shy.
Where does this feeling come from?
As soon as you go out to people or get into an unfamiliar circle of people, shyness overpowers you, and you cannot do anything about it. You begin to experience it when your attention is excessively directed only at yourself. You track every step, gesture, words, begin to control all your actions. And it starts to seem to you that all the attention, views of people are riveted to you, and they notice your every flaw. Such self-admiration causes excessive sensitivity to any words of others, this makes you even more shy and shy to feel yourself.
Let’s look at the feeling of shyness from a psychological point of view. This feeling is based on three components: excessive awkwardness, low self-esteem, negative self-attention. The feeling of embarrassment arises from the fact that you’re constantly and everywhere trying to control yourself, especially in the company of new people. Low self-esteem is formed from the fact that you see only their negative sides, features. Negative self-attention is created in situations where you did something wrong, as would like, made a mistake, an oversight in public.
Can you cope with shyness?
Cope is not just possible, but necessary. Next will be described the ways that will help you with this.
- Understand the causes of shyness
Observe this feeling, when it arises, under what circumstances, why, and how it manifests itself in you. Understanding yourself is the first, most important step to any change or improvement in life. Answers to these questions will be the basis for further work on yourself.
- Leave the habit of constantly evaluating yourself.
How I look, how I stand, what I say, whether I behave myself, how I look from the outside, what others think about me … Constant control of myself and the situation will keep you in constant tension and constraint. You can not relax, easy to communicate with other people. Nobody appreciates you, people, in fact, pay little attention to each other. Everyone is busy with his thoughts and himself, they don’t care about your life. So you can breathe freely, no one is watching you intently. Better turn your attention inward. Just observe the course of your thoughts.
- Try to see strengths in yourself.
Undoubtedly, each of us has its own unique features and qualities. Find them in yourself, look at yourself from the outside, that you’ve something that could be proud of. This will help you raise your low self-esteem and regain faith in yourself. Focus your attention on your strengths until you’re aware of your originality, uniqueness.
- Learn to accept yourself
Only after you do this will you like yourself again. Leave self-criticism. Love yourself for the fact that you’re an individual, because such a person is no more in the whole Universe, never will be. Learn to like yourself, take your body, your face with all the advantages, disadvantages.
- Watch people
To shift your focus away from yourself, try to pay attention to the surrounding people, especially when you’re in crowded places and the feeling of awkwardness slips in on you. During the conversation, be extremely attentive to what your interlocutor says, how he expresses his thoughts, how he keeps himself in society. This will tell you how to behave.
- Speak only good things about yourself.
It’s no secret that any spoken word carries a certain energy that can influence you. The fact that we often repeat about ourselves is what we become. This happens unconsciously. But you can make this process conscious, repeating some positive statements, affirmations. Gradually, it will take root in you and will work for your benefit. If you tell yourself every day that you’re sociable, courageous, active people who like to spend time among other people, this will happen. You can be convinced of their effectiveness, efficiency for your personal growth.
- Pay attention to the moments when you have a feeling of shyness.
After conversations, incidents and various situations where you were shy, uncomfortable, analyze them. You need to learn to take advantage of each such moment, to work them out, making it so that you reveal yourself. You can always replay the situation to your advantage, using every mistake as an opportunity to work on yourself. Be just an observer of your feelings.
Stop being shy.
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- Don’t be afraid when you say no
Very often in such situations a person feels awkward and shy. After refusal, people are afraid to ask again or ask for something. However, you should not be afraid of failures, it all depends on your attitude towards them. Don’t take them painfully, be prepared that you can say no to your request. Denying absolutely everyone in this life, and you’re no exception. Learn to accept failures, calmly respond to them. No, no, ask someone else what you need. Learn from this for yourself and draw conclusions. By the way, it will also be good for you to learn to refuse people in a mild form. To be trouble-free is a thankless task that isn’t appreciated by anyone.
- Don’t demand much from yourself.
When a person sets himself too high a bar and cannot cope with it, and as a result he will be disappointed in himself and his abilities. Set realistic goals that you can achieve. Every little victory will develop faith in you. Self-esteem will begin to grow, then you can achieve much more.
10. Don’t compare yourself with other people.
Everyone is good at his special manifestation. We’re all created different, and when comparing, you erase your individuality, uniqueness. The desire to be like someone, acts negatively on you. There are new complexes, condemnations. You’re beautiful just the way you were created, why you should be like someone.
- Start performing in public.
This is a great method to quickly overcome shyness. Learn to express your opinion, speak first among friends, acquaintances, then at meetings and meetings with unfamiliar or unfamiliar people. Then you can act with many people. Just prepare a speech in advance for confidence. Meet new people, thanks to this you’ll develop communication skills.
- And finally, be sure to complete the following task.
Think, and better somewhere write down all your successes, victories, achievements that you had. When you write it all down, you’ll be surprised how much you’ve unknowingly accomplished. Come back to this list of your victories more often. This will give you confidence. Shyness grows because you don’t believe in yourself, that you’re capable of much. But when you look at this list of successes, even if they are not large, you’ll be pleased with yourself. And this is the most important thing. Love, appreciate yourself, work on your qualities and fight with complexes. And you’ll certainly succeed.
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