Today, our magic ball told us how difficult it is to achieve your favor! Perhaps, it is you who come first?
12 place – Sagittarius
An honorable 12th place goes to Sagittarius, which you do not need to conquer at all. Calmly, do not open champagne and pre-celebrate the coming easy victory! First, write down to yourself in the ballroom book the principle that the young lady-Sagittarius is guided in the relationship: “Sects – not a reason to get acquainted.” Well, just so you know. Because after the seca with Sagittarius, men, as a rule, want to jump out of bed immediately and run to the nearest jewelry store behind the engagement ring. And this is – already sorry. To persuade the young lady-Sagittarius for a serious relationship – it’s not for you to shoot a boar, but a feat.
11th place – Aries
11th place goes to Aries, who are fiercely, frantically annoying all these ridiculous man’s antics like bouquets (such money for such vulgarity, forgive the Universe), gallantry (your great-grandmother will hand your hand, clever man) and dinners in pointedly expensive restaurants (goulay, flaw , did you get a pension?). So Aries, do not conquer at all. Aries prefers to conquer herself. And here already, or give up, or make a leg. Quickly make legs! Well, it does not help anyway, of course, because “you do not know how – we will teach, you do not want – we will force”, but we were obliged to give this advice. It is impossible, in fact, like this, to deprive people of all hope for salvation.
10th place – Virgo
In order to conquer the Virgin, you do not need anything. Nothing at all. You just need to meet her requirements for a man. Yes, all three volumes of requirements, each of which is thick with a telephone directory of Moscow and the Moscow region. If you match, Virgo will do everything herself. If not – you will be sincerely and honestly cut off on the approach. But if you seem to fit, but try to add yourself points, demonstrating the macho macho techniques – beware: even if you do not need the Virgin, she will cling to you. Grabs and will not let go until you knock out of your pretty head all this extra nonsense. The effect of treatment is lifelong. The result is not much different from lobotomy.
9th place – Scorpio
Unexpected turn! For some reason everyone thinks that it is an incredibly difficult task to win a Scorpio young lady, but in fact this is done elementary. The principle of action is familiar to any man from early childhood: you go to the Emerald City, you find Goodwin there and ask him for brains, heart and courage. Courage is needed to be able to approach the Scorpio, brains – so that she does not immediately tail you, and she will then roast the heart and eat with a good Chianti.
8th place – Cancer
The question “How to win a young lady-Cancer?” Is the most stupid question in the world. Still would be asked how to breathe, for example. Just marry her, dude. There is no other way, and who actually needs it? The other question is much more complicated: how to win back from it, if suddenly it came to such a need? And, frankly, we do not know the answer to this question. That is, you can conquer yourself back by the same principle: just divorce yourself, dude. But here’s how to crank it, not leaving in the tightly clamped clit the most valuable, science is unknown. If the claw clicked, everything is finita. However, in consolation we can inform you that after the divorce from Cancer you will surely be taken to a film studio. Cartoons voiced.
7 place – Taurus
Write down the recipe: to win the young Taurus, you need to be gay fun. In his board a guy with whom she never gets bored. With whom you can talk about anything, and he will understand everything. With whom you simply do not need to pretend to be something. With which you can drink “Zhiguli” under fried sausages at the grandmother’s dacha with the toilet system “hole in the ground.” The sausage must first be put on a platinum ring with a carat. Whence such money at cheerful раздолбая? Yes, Taurus, what’s the difference where? This is in general, not her problems, so you understand. She just needs to picture something out of herself tomorrow, so come on, throw yourself a boar!
6 place – Leo
An honorable central place in the horoscope and a very very simple recipe for the conqueror. Just give her more attention, bro. Even more attention! If you want to do without the “I crawl for you on your knees for a thousand miles, dear!”, You can depict the same in money terms. In general, long or expensive, choose one of the two. Both options are without any guarantee, by the way. Welcome to adulthood!
5 place – Libra
The top five leaders are Libra, which can not be won without having a set of basic qualities: a good education, a beautiful upbringing, a developed sense of beauty, a well-read and – oops, a man, you were not standing here, quit the line! – the appearance of a beautiful elf. Correspond? Then everything is in order. Now stand under the balcony and wait, when she decides, you need it at all or not. Only first notice the ashes of his predecessor, who exactly at this very place died of old age. You get dirty more.
4 place – Gemini
Unexpected turn! Frivolous and lightweight Twins almost got to the top three. Because to win Gemini – it’s not your cat sneezed: Twins are ready for a relationship only if they are interested. And in order for the young lady-Gemini to become interested with you, you’ll have to brain your information with information until it boils. And then learn how to supply it to Gemini without fail on a platter of outstanding eloquence, seasoned with sarcasm, cynicism and black humor. And then she will think, of course. Suddenly you’re crazy crazy? In the sense that if not, if not crazy and normal – passing by.
3 place – Aquarius
The third place, the bronze medal and the certificate of honor “For Outstanding Services in the Dynamo of the 80th Level” is given to Aquarius. Yes, bro, it’s a dynamo, but what! Aquarius quite sincerely like you, and your ridiculous shy antics, and stupid gifts, and flowers. She really really enjoys going out with you on a date – at least to the theater, at least to the restaurant, or even to the park for a shop. And she likes to walk by the handle, and flirting, and laughing at your jokes. All this is completely sincere, there is not the slightest lie in it. And also she sincerely does not want to go to bed with you. Absolutely. Haha, break!
2 nd place – Capricorn
A silver medal goes to Capricorns, which are won by a dead number. Even if you bring her a dragon’s head on a platter – the princess’s hand will not get. Well, if only the hand of some outsider princess, who accidentally lingered with Capricorn on the farm since the time of science’s fascination with anatomy (do not open, by the way, the jar, formalin is very smelly). The thing is that Capricorn does not need fleeting novels. Capricorn needs a serious relationship with an eye on “lived happily ever after and died in one day.” But first she wants to live happily ever after. But you, if that, come. Well, suddenly she is now fascinated by the science of psychology and she needs a drug such as “A man in love, desperate, one thing”?
1 st place – Pisces
Ta-dam! The first place and the gold medal go to Pisces! Which, as everyone knows, are very cold, thoughtful, immersed in themselves and, it seems, in general a little bit not of this world. So you need to conquer them somehow especially, but how exactly – no one knows. Surprise! We know. It is necessary to hang in the water column and pretend to be an old, leaky toe. Then, maybe, the Fish will come up and, having looked at you curiously, will wag its tail and disappear in the world ocean. Because in reality she is not immersed in herself. She’s just in ambush sitting in beautiful corals. So if you rypneshsya conquer – it will make “AM”. Well, and there – how lucky. Or immediately he will eat, or torment him first. Because playing with conquerors, like a cat with a mouse, is her favorite occupation.
Friends, please add your opinion in comments.
Thanks, Night Wolf